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During my many extended visits to the African continent, I had a chance to explore and understand the topic a little better.

First of all, there is a deeply entrenched misconception in the western world about Africa: it is often seen as a bleak continent of misery, problems, and diseases and suffering, relying on charity only.

This is far from truth. There is misery, of course, and tremendous suffering; but there is also a vibrant force of life like nowhere else. Nowhere can oneself enjoy life more than in Africa, perhaps – in spontaneous, natural, humorous, sexual and other genuine ways. As someone said, ” Africa is a place where nothing works, but anything can happen.”

In the Congo, life really starts around sunset, when the street cafes and restaurants open. The smoke of grilled fish fills the air. There is beer and life music just everywhere. Most surprising is the cheerful mood that reigns in every corner of town. Everybody is a friend. At some 9 pm the nightclubs open, which comes along with more beer and any possible aspect of commercial sex on offer. Those who haven’t found a partner yet may do so along the road to the hotel or house, in the hotel lobby, even to the point of some gentle knocks at one’s bedroom door.

Sex is openly associated with money. A one-night stand is cheap, and costs less than a meal in a decent restaurant. There are short-term contracts (five minutes, one night, one week), medium-term contracts (a few month), or marriage. The latter carries the highest social prestige, and comes with the traditional blessing of the African family including the ghosts of spiritual ancestors. The others are grudgingly accepted, and require the occasional ransom payment to the girl’s family.

Be it as it may, sex in Africa is predominantly a polygamous, and also polyandrous affair. A rich businessman, or employee with stable income tends to have many partners. Rich female business ladies buy their lovers. I remember the story of a State Oil company employee who had nine wives and 49 children. Another gentleman had 11 children with his wife and another 13 with some nine mistresses.

Sex also occurs a lot during daytime, mostly in government or other offices, with prostitutes signing in as visitors. Sex is simply available 24 hours, 365 days and wherever desired. Sex can even be borrowed – have fun now, leave your driving license, and pay later.

There are also different categories of partners:

  • The wife or wives. There is marriage according to either civil code, church or customary code; adultery (by the wives) is strictly forbidden;
  • The alpha-mistress has almost the same rights as a married wife, and mostly competes with the wives for money and attention; adultery is strongly discouraged;
  • Beta- and Gamma- mistresses are occasional partners that are often shared by a number of male partners; at this point we can speak of a network of sexual relations;
  • Common prostitutes (mostly female); these don’t tend to have long-term partners, but always try to get an upgrade to a level of mistress.

It is the sexual network aspect that is partly to blame for the Aids epidemic in Africa. Condoms are widely shunned. Another factor is the way, in which sexual penetrations are performed. Africa isn’t a rose garden of sweet feelings and romantic ideas. Sex is often carried out in brutal ways, given sex is not only considered a pleasure game, but also an instrument of forceful submission. Sex is a must. Nigeria’s late dictator Abacha is rumored to have died from a heart attack, after having swallowed a week’s dosage of Viagra. Furthermore, there is a whole range of herbal mixtures, with mostly little understood effects that are used to enhance and further stimulate sex drive. In certain tribes, rituals, tattoo and herbs are used to instill a powerful, indomitable sex drive in young boys and girls – at adult age, these require seven or more sexual intercourses per day to feel in the right mood.

Multiple sexual relations are for a wealthy man a status symbol as much as a Mercedes, and the consequences are dramatic. I was told that a leading oil company in the Congo looses eight percent of their qualified local employees every year to Aids.

There is little hope that the situation will improve in the short term. Sex is by far too important in an African man’s life, and condoms aren’t and won’t be popular. The most realistic hope lies in the development of effective and cheap anti-viral creams that would enable women with multiple male sex partners to prevent infection by Aids, an infection that is bound to happen - sooner or later.

© 2007 by Franz L Kessler